Wow.

Like the title states: Wow. This is amazing. It's April 29, 2010 (I'm adding this for those of you who don't feel like looking at the date of this entry for yourself--and to add emphasis), and I am officially posting a new entry. This is incredible. The last time I wrote an entry was August 6, 2007. I used this account three years ago to critique books as a year-round project, but I completely neglected it after I finished every assignment. For the past month, I've been having a lot on my mind, and even though I usually write (normally fiction) when I feel this way, my desire was to vent to my friend. Unfortunately, she didn't appear to be in a "listening-to-me-blab-about-my-life" mood, so I decided to try a different approach: blogging. It was then that I remembered this site and how I used it so often 3 years ago. I figured that if I could use it for reading assignments, why not just use this account for actual blogging as well?
So here I am: three years later, three years older, with a life that's three times as complicated. I loved my life as much as I possibly could three years ago; that year has honestly been my favorite year of my life. And...now? Well, as Avril Lavigne would say: It's Complicated.
I guess the big news should come first. No, no, I'm not getting married, and I'm not pregnant. Not THAT kind of big news. More like the type of big news that a kid at school would have; the kind of news that would break the kid's heart: I'm moving. I've known since October, and it's stil tough for me to grasp this idea. I'm actually moving all the way across the country. I've lived here for the majority of my life, and I've established an awesome life here. The thought of moving has never crossed my mind...Well, that's a lie. It has, but I've never believed that it would happen. Guess I was small-minded (and I still am).
What else? Oh, of course, "romantic" trouble. Once again, it's complicated, although I suppose most people have complications with romance. And when everyone has complications, no one does (or maybe this saying only works when someone's talking about super powers). Anyway, here's what's going on:
I have a friend (actually, I have quite a lot of friends; this one is simply very special). She's awesome. She's been my best friend for the longest time, and I love her to death (she's also one of the people that I'd hate to leave when I'm *insert m-word here*). She has a brother. I've known him nearly as long as I've known her--and that's a LONG time. A year ago, I started having feelings for him, and I've really felt like he's had feelings for me, too. Crazy, right? Sadly, a couple of weeks ago, I met this girl. Turns out, she knows him and goes to school with him (we go to separate schools). They're in the same grade, and they have a few classes together. I was talking to her, and she mentioned something that hit me pretty hard: he has a girlfriend. Now, I must admit, I should have seen this coming. He goes to a different school, and he doesn't like talking about his personal life. It's easy to believe. Anyway, the girl at the park also said that he initially rejected the girl until sometime later, he accepted. Why? I wish I knew. His girlfriend is friends with my ex-neighbor (who is awesome!), and I have to say: if she's friends with my ex-neighbor, she has to be pretty cool. The day I found out, I was upset. The next day, I thought I'd be in the worst mood ever, but I was fine. I actually felt much better. Relieved, almost. I felt happy for this girl; from what it sounded like, she really likes him. The awkward thing has been going to my friend's house and having to see him. When I found out about his girlfriend, I felt as if I no longer had feelings for him. But whenever I see him, the feelings come back. I keep trying to tell myself that things will never work out, but it's not the easiest thing to believe. The last time I saw him was yesterday when I went to my friend's house to work on a project. He offered to help us, and I was surprised at his kindness. He usually responded to whatever I said, and whenever he wasn't staring at his computer or his drum-set (his two materialistic loves), I found him looking at me. It was awkward. Part of me wanted to run up and hug him. Part of me wanted to make him disappear. Part of me wished that I had never met him in the first place. In the end, logic prevailed, and I did absolutely nothing. I don't want to interfere with his relationship, no matter how much I still like him (oops, I said the l-word). It would have been nice, though, if something had happened between us. That way, I'd be able to move feeling a little bit more like my life was pretty great. Not that it isn't now, but sometimes, it'd be nice to have reminders more often. I think the worst part about everything was the timing: the day that I found out about his girlfriend was the same day that I had finally planned to tell him about my feelings. At least I didn't humiliate myself in front of him, I suppose.
Well, that's it. It's been nice writing--I mean, BLOGGING, and I hope to do so more often from now on. =) 'Til next time,
Pooka

Oh, that's right. I never said when I was moving: sometime this summer. Most likely June. Yup. I'm being pulled toward that deadline about an octillion times faster than I want. My best friend (HIS sister) said that time doesn't change unless you move extremely fast, at which point time would slow down. She then gave me an example that involved going around the galaxy almost at the speed of light. We call her the smart one of the group.